7.12.11- Near Death Experience

First entry in forever. 

I was sitting at a bar talking to an older man. I don't remember who it was, but he had longish, wavy black hair, kinda tall, skinny and pale; not anyone I know in real life, not that I can remember anyway. A friend of mine walks into the bar and watches me from the other side. I realize he's staring. I get uncomfortable yet curious and send the older guy off. I walk up to my friend and ask him what the matter is. He says that guy is too old for me. In the dream, he is 42, but for some reason, we discuss that an 8 year difference is too much (although I don't think so in real life. Perhaps this was the future? either that or we suck at math in my dreams). He tells me that I'll regret being with someone 8 years older than I and that he's only watching out for my 'happiness.' We're looking into each others eyes and his anger is soothed away. We hold hands as we talk and it feels nice.

    Next thing I know, I'm in the passenger's seat of my mom's car as she drives down the highway. We're definitely on another planet because there are giant pink and orange planets real near ours in the sky. We're in one of those flying cars. That's when I realize everything was above land, floating in mid air. She's very quiet, scary quiet. She takes me to my house. Instead of houses, we have domes made out of solid rock, raw and unpolished. They're chained to the ground so they don't float away. Apparently, there's no gravity here. When we get inside, I begin to hear a voice telling me that I had taken my life for granted and that I would be punished for my lack of expression. My mother, like a silent walking robot, had set up bombs throughout my home. The voice explained that there was a timer that would detonate all the bombs and my life would end by fire, just. like. that. I tried stopping my mom, but she was walking towards all the bombs in my house pressing the big red buttons that would activate them. She began to get angry with me, telling me that I was weak and that I deserved to die. She left, and I cried like crazy. All I could think about was my babies and how I would miss them and what would become of them. My life started to flash before my eyes, and I began to take deep breaths.

    30 seconds left on the clock and my thoughts were cleared. I was ready to embrace my death. I closed my eyes and laid down and waited for that very moment my body would be torn apart and disintegrated forever. An overwhelming peace came into me. I accepted. With a few seconds left on the clock, a thought crept into my once silent mind...a regret. I regretted never expressing my feelings to someone very dear to me. I imagined myself doing it at the bar the night before, hoping it would lead me into heaven...
2..

1..

one last breath..
0...

another breath... 

I was still there. 

I got up in disbelief and yelled at my mother, the world, and the voice for not killing me; for playing a sick and twisted game..but the voice responded and said, 

  'You know what you have to do. That's the only reason why you're still alive right now. A second chance at life, even if it doesn't turn out in your favor, you will manage. Keeping it in is what will kill you.'

I woke up.

Haven't said a thing

and probably never will.

.

10.18.10 Immaculate Conception

The funny thing about this, is that I have dreams of the world ending so much but none of them scare me at all. In fact, those are some of my favourite dreams... This particular dream,on the other hand, had no imminent cataclysms, yet there is something about chase scenes that really freak me the eff out. Yes, this was the first nightmare i've had in a lonnngggg time...Read on...

   I was in the woods and oddly enough, my belly starts growing, nonstop. I was impregnated by nothing. It was an immaculate conception. The angels were speaking to me. I remember thinking to myself how it was actually possible. The full gestation period lasted one single day, so by the time night fell, I was having this miracle baby. I gave birth to a baby boy and I felt so good and happy to have a little baby boy in my arms. I wanted to keep him. I held him up and looked at him and right before my eyes, he started to grow into a little man child, with a full on goatee and everything. Everything was happening so fast, I wasn't sure what was really going on but I knew this was a child prodigy because he was psychic and wise and spoke of such amazing things. He warned me of something... he said that a group of people (the guys from a local band) were hired to kidnap him and kill him, as a ritualistic sacrifice. I ran with him into the woods and left him under large rocks and covered him with blankets. I knew they'd be out to find me so I ran the opposite direction. Unfortunately, I ran straight to them. My heart sank as they saw me and i just ran back the way i came. As a distraction, Mark and someone else (I forget who) went to their truck and knocked down all their instruments and speakers from their pick up truck. They ran back to their truck and although it helped me get away, they only became angrier. I could feel their anger and their fury as i ran through the woods. I went back for my baby and just continued to run and climb mountains to get away. I remember there was a place set up for me, as if someone was expecting me. 

Then I woke up.

June 28th 2010: Ahkenaten and the Mysterious TV Show

Mark and I were heading to a Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn Temple in a little village I've dreamed of before. I noticed some of my Greenvillian buddies setting up to film a tv show across the street. We're wearing pyramids on our heads but I take mine off to go talk to these people. I decide to catch up with Mark later so he goes in alone. I'm watching them work on this project and feel a little bad that I'm not involved. I asked my friend who the writer of the show is and he points to a long-haired red head girl I've never seen, I don't think. She isn't very nice, but I stick around anyway to watch the hilarious acting. Before I knew it, Mark was back and was kind of upset I never went in. I told him to introduce himself but he didn't really care nor want to, saying there was no point. At this time, I hear a message that literally came from above. He declared himself as Ahkenaten and the imagery in my mind began. I saw a giant pyramid in the sky with hieroglyphs written all around it. I remember seeing lots of hieroglyphs of suns and birds.

The pyramid shined so brightly, i believe it was made of gold. I tried to read it but the vision went by too fast like rolling credits. Too much information to process that quickly. I told Mark what I saw and heard, but I don't think he believed me. I told him we had to go to Egypt as soon as possible because Akhenaten gave us a specific time frame to go. Mark said that I should tell my friends and see what they thought, so I did. Most of them thought I was crazy or didn't even take me seriously. They kept working on the tv show but again I felt bad for having to leave. I asked the red-headed girl if she would let me write a skit but she said no, in a very unpleasant way. I went and told a friend, Michael Barksdale that she said no. There was nothing he could do for me, he said. Finally, he said 'don't tell anybody, but if I were you, I'd do it anyway, just give it to someone else.' Then Mark came to where we were and said, alright, if you are sure you got the message we were waiting for, then let's go. We gotta go now!' Then I think I felt a rumbling in the floor and small crystals fell from the sky.


Analysis:
Observing the balance of both my Piscean qualities. The spiritual (the Temple visit), and the worldly (production), as represented by two fish. It represents my path in spirituality and instructions I have been given on many occasions since I was a child.

Update: (7.28.10) Moses and Ahkenaten are one and the same. His instructions were based on migration towards the land of pyramids, very similar to the event that occurred over 2000 years ago when the Israelies were led out of Egypt by Moses. I feel in my being that this is a progressed and karmic-cleared continuation from that time.

See my ALTERNATIVE 2012 THEORY.