7.12.11- Near Death Experience

First entry in forever. 

I was sitting at a bar talking to an older man. I don't remember who it was, but he had longish, wavy black hair, kinda tall, skinny and pale; not anyone I know in real life, not that I can remember anyway. A friend of mine walks into the bar and watches me from the other side. I realize he's staring. I get uncomfortable yet curious and send the older guy off. I walk up to my friend and ask him what the matter is. He says that guy is too old for me. In the dream, he is 42, but for some reason, we discuss that an 8 year difference is too much (although I don't think so in real life. Perhaps this was the future? either that or we suck at math in my dreams). He tells me that I'll regret being with someone 8 years older than I and that he's only watching out for my 'happiness.' We're looking into each others eyes and his anger is soothed away. We hold hands as we talk and it feels nice.

    Next thing I know, I'm in the passenger's seat of my mom's car as she drives down the highway. We're definitely on another planet because there are giant pink and orange planets real near ours in the sky. We're in one of those flying cars. That's when I realize everything was above land, floating in mid air. She's very quiet, scary quiet. She takes me to my house. Instead of houses, we have domes made out of solid rock, raw and unpolished. They're chained to the ground so they don't float away. Apparently, there's no gravity here. When we get inside, I begin to hear a voice telling me that I had taken my life for granted and that I would be punished for my lack of expression. My mother, like a silent walking robot, had set up bombs throughout my home. The voice explained that there was a timer that would detonate all the bombs and my life would end by fire, just. like. that. I tried stopping my mom, but she was walking towards all the bombs in my house pressing the big red buttons that would activate them. She began to get angry with me, telling me that I was weak and that I deserved to die. She left, and I cried like crazy. All I could think about was my babies and how I would miss them and what would become of them. My life started to flash before my eyes, and I began to take deep breaths.

    30 seconds left on the clock and my thoughts were cleared. I was ready to embrace my death. I closed my eyes and laid down and waited for that very moment my body would be torn apart and disintegrated forever. An overwhelming peace came into me. I accepted. With a few seconds left on the clock, a thought crept into my once silent mind...a regret. I regretted never expressing my feelings to someone very dear to me. I imagined myself doing it at the bar the night before, hoping it would lead me into heaven...
2..

1..

one last breath..
0...

another breath... 

I was still there. 

I got up in disbelief and yelled at my mother, the world, and the voice for not killing me; for playing a sick and twisted game..but the voice responded and said, 

  'You know what you have to do. That's the only reason why you're still alive right now. A second chance at life, even if it doesn't turn out in your favor, you will manage. Keeping it in is what will kill you.'

I woke up.

Haven't said a thing

and probably never will.

.

Night of 3.9.2011: Nuclear Fallout

Thursday night- (first nightmare I had in a while)

I dreamed that my family was out finding some shelter. This was a post-apocalyptic scenario, the atmosphere in the dream felt urgent. Well, not many people had cars at this point, but we were some of the lucky ones. Mark and I drive to this abandoned warehouse, a mattress store where our moms were meeting up with us with our kids. Our moms, being the elders, were in charge of taking care of the children, while Mark and I gathered both information and supplies. We knew something was coming and felt the need to take precaution by hiding out where no one could find us. When we walked into this huge mattress warehouse, the first thing I noticed was the fallout. It was covered in white powder and although I hated to see it, I knew it was safer than any other place. Why? It seemed to be protected by a greater force above us. Almost as if it had its own electromagnetic shield, which I didn't really understand, but accepted. Mark and I were discussing our plans. We knew what it meant when we saw certain events coming to fruition. We got on the car and drove on the high way, went out to grab some food wherever we could. We were being followed and didn't know it, so when we arrived to our base, the police arrived just seconds after. SWAT looking police men come out of the car pointing their guns at us. Mark in the drivers seat, me in the back with Sienna, took one look at each other and knew that it was time. We counted to three, and in an instant, the plan was in full activation. Instead of surrendering, I grabbed Sienna and pulled her out of the car while Mark faced the police men with what looked like a giant piece of alien technological equipment; a bazooka with green lights at the end that shot lasers. This was given to us, and we knew when to use it. He told us to run as he said some cheesy Hollywood type line at the cops and blasted the Chief policeman, which happened to be Eddie Murphy. I tried not to look back, but at this point everything was in super slow motion. All I could think of was getting my daughter inside this warehouse, but I knew Mark wasn't going to make it, since part of the plan was to martyr himself. I knew that once she was in, I would have to lead the cops to a specific place... where or when, I don't know. I woke up at that point.

I didn't think much of this dream until yesterday when I heard of Japans Nuclear Power plant going into a state of emergency. The thing that struck me most about the dream, was seeing the fallout.

1.28.10 - White Space and the Mystery Council

I was at a dance studio with my daughter, waiting for the instructor to arrive when I realize there was a TV in the corner of the room, muted, playing a movie that contained adult content. When I realized this, I immediately became infuriated. I started to scream at the instructor for his carelessness and irresponsibility around children. He left the office and a short, petite dark haired, woman came in. She says,

'I am told you want to file a complaint.'

I am so upset I begin to yell at her about him. She hands me a stack of papers and tells me to fill them out. Although I am excessively upset, I manage to get through the forms and hand them to her as soon as I'm done. As she leaves, a group of 12 elders (in their 80s+) walk in and stand around me. I assume a Town Hall meeting is being called in to discuss the matter. Just as she exits the room, I hear her telling the last one in that I must be silenced. I ran to the door to see where she was going. Through the glass, I see her walking up to the instructor, ripping my forms in half, and begin to kiss him. Now, I am really going hysterical. At this point I am fearful that this group is going to silence me and the thought of all the corruption and cover up going on begins to dawn on me. What kind of situation did I get myself into?

 

Before I know it, things in the room begin to disappear. Furniture, walls, roof, floor, until I am just standing in white space. There is nothing but me and this group of elder people. The speaker tells me, 

 

'It is time that we reveal who we are.'

They begin to change before my eyes into ancient reptilian looking grays with HUGE eyes and extremely skinny bodies. They all look exactly the same except for some very minor differences. Some wear purple velvet looking garments like royal cloaks, some carry staffs and wear headdresses on their elongated skulls. I see similarities and they remind me of the Mayan and Egyptian Pyramids, as if they're the original builders. They are dark, dark, green and as old as raisins.

The speaker begins to ask, in a calm and soothing voice,

'Why are you so angry?'

I begin to tell him my frustrations about the careless dance instructor. The speaker asks, 

'Do you believe he is responsible?'

I begin to think about it and question my reasoning. I begin to think of his wife and how she is just as corrupt if not more. I tell them about her.

'So you believe she is responsible?'

 I say yes and demand that action be taken. The speaker continues,

"Look around you. You are standing in empty space. There is nothing here but you. It is you who are responsible. This is your dream. This is all your creation in your mind. You are responsible for your creation. Take this with you."

At that point I begin to look around at the white empty space and how it is just I and this council filling it. I take in all that I'm being told, including the realization of having been in the presence of what seemed like wisdom personified. I woke up, feeling thankful they helped me to release my anxiety, but still wondering what star they came from.

Many Portals, Many Realities

Ok guys, so i'm not entirely gone. I've been around and have had some great dreams along the way, but I was contacted again by my dream guides in last night's dream and do feel it is appropriate enough ;) to share this one with you.

I find myself coming out of a portal. I'm with a few of my guides (not sure if it's 2 or 3). We're part of some sort of command. They're showing me all the portals that will soon be opening. There's a lot of detail regarding 'sides' and 'alliances'; something along those lines. They're showing me how to create them and go in and out of them at will. I am able to see brief glimpses of different timelines associated with each portal. They also tell me that there are many parallel realities, and what we do in those worlds affects this one and vice versa, but it the only ones that directly matter are the ones we are at least semi-conscious in. They also tell me that soon, parallel realities will be overlapping (completely), and it's not the first time I hear this in a dream.