7.12.11- Near Death Experience

First entry in forever. 

I was sitting at a bar talking to an older man. I don't remember who it was, but he had longish, wavy black hair, kinda tall, skinny and pale; not anyone I know in real life, not that I can remember anyway. A friend of mine walks into the bar and watches me from the other side. I realize he's staring. I get uncomfortable yet curious and send the older guy off. I walk up to my friend and ask him what the matter is. He says that guy is too old for me. In the dream, he is 42, but for some reason, we discuss that an 8 year difference is too much (although I don't think so in real life. Perhaps this was the future? either that or we suck at math in my dreams). He tells me that I'll regret being with someone 8 years older than I and that he's only watching out for my 'happiness.' We're looking into each others eyes and his anger is soothed away. We hold hands as we talk and it feels nice.

    Next thing I know, I'm in the passenger's seat of my mom's car as she drives down the highway. We're definitely on another planet because there are giant pink and orange planets real near ours in the sky. We're in one of those flying cars. That's when I realize everything was above land, floating in mid air. She's very quiet, scary quiet. She takes me to my house. Instead of houses, we have domes made out of solid rock, raw and unpolished. They're chained to the ground so they don't float away. Apparently, there's no gravity here. When we get inside, I begin to hear a voice telling me that I had taken my life for granted and that I would be punished for my lack of expression. My mother, like a silent walking robot, had set up bombs throughout my home. The voice explained that there was a timer that would detonate all the bombs and my life would end by fire, just. like. that. I tried stopping my mom, but she was walking towards all the bombs in my house pressing the big red buttons that would activate them. She began to get angry with me, telling me that I was weak and that I deserved to die. She left, and I cried like crazy. All I could think about was my babies and how I would miss them and what would become of them. My life started to flash before my eyes, and I began to take deep breaths.

    30 seconds left on the clock and my thoughts were cleared. I was ready to embrace my death. I closed my eyes and laid down and waited for that very moment my body would be torn apart and disintegrated forever. An overwhelming peace came into me. I accepted. With a few seconds left on the clock, a thought crept into my once silent mind...a regret. I regretted never expressing my feelings to someone very dear to me. I imagined myself doing it at the bar the night before, hoping it would lead me into heaven...
2..

1..

one last breath..
0...

another breath... 

I was still there. 

I got up in disbelief and yelled at my mother, the world, and the voice for not killing me; for playing a sick and twisted game..but the voice responded and said, 

  'You know what you have to do. That's the only reason why you're still alive right now. A second chance at life, even if it doesn't turn out in your favor, you will manage. Keeping it in is what will kill you.'

I woke up.

Haven't said a thing

and probably never will.

.